Pardon me Body Shop, I'm not stealing your AIDS campaign.

But something amusing happened on the Trans Jakarta bus on my way to work this morning. I was sitting while reading my book, when this woman entered. She looked tough, carrying two bags. She was restless, at first she stood in front of me. Then she was looking at something behind her, and moved a bit further away. I saw that she was looking at a man - nodding off - and oblivious to all the women that was standing, most of them lugging a quite heavy-looking bag. Then she spoke while nudging on the man, "Mas, boleh gantian engga duduknya?"

The man instantly stood up and gave her the seat while grinning sheepishly. The woman sat and nodded off instantly (must be the seat they're sitting on).

There you go, ladies!! If you're pregnant or sick, or having trouble with excess baggage on a bus, with men (pretending to be) sleeping sitting in front of you, DO NOT HESITATE to speak up and ask for a seat with LOUD VOICE. But Please, do your homework first, choose - based on the appearance - wisely. Skip men with kupluk, cingkrang trousers and beard - for I think you're wasting your time.

- Wear your walking/running shoes, don't wear something like pointy toes. It might be comfortable now, but after a while, your toes will suffer.

-Don't wear sandal jepit, either. You might get lucky to have an empty bus, but otherwise the risk of being stepped upon is unreasonably high. Spare your toes the nasty experience.

-If you have to stand, stand with your feet wide apart. Or you might fall into mas-mas's embrace when the driver hits the brake. Forget dainty. Choose dignity.

-You know the man with a kupluk, moustache, beard, koko shirt and cingkrang pants who is concentrating on his read such as: "Tafsir Al-Mustafa"? He is the least likely type to give up his seat to anyone, not even a heavy-bag-lugging ibu-ibu.

-If the driver hits the break, try best to step on the man's  (in kupluk, moustache, beard, koko shirt and cingkrang pants) toes.

-If you can, bring something to kill time, or even better to avoid the risk of getting caught sleeping with your mouth wide open. Book is good. NDS:even better.

-A woman is more likely to give an old lady her seat, even though her stop is still far away. A man would give someone his seat when his stop is next.

-Not having an intention to undermine woman-busway-drivers, but prepare to jump pretty far to and from the bus, from and to the shelter whenever they drive.

It's good, isn't it? To know that you're in good hands. It feels good to know, that your government is full of  capable, competent smart people, especially the leaders. Right? NOT!

Two days ago, I read this "Lampu Merah" newspaper (I swear I'm not the one who bought it) and found two articles about Jakarta's horrible traffic. The officials would debate about how to overcome this predicament. Whether they should raise the parking fee to Rp. 15.000 per hour (moronic, but I can see why), restrict the evens or odds of last number on the license plate (useless, do you think those bastards only have ONE car?), or electronic tracking device for subscription to entry the business area of the city (sure, another vehicle for pungli).

All of those is useless, said Ade Suryapriatna - who, I later found out, is the chairman of DPRD DKI Jakarta - if Jakarta government doesn't replace the lane for private cars that has been used for busway. Before Foke&Friends can do that, said Ade again, they should ALLOW any cars to enter the busway lane. "That'll be fair" He said.

With respect, Mr. Ade, maybe you should forgo your three luxury cars for a while and try the busway at rush hours. Try mish-mashing with the crowd like sardines in a tin, standing up in an awkward manner and have to do it - instead of the theories of 10 minutes max - for 1 hour instead, because the people - who can sit comfortably in their own cars while listening to their top of the line car stereo - with personal cars enter the busway (already happened). Let's see if you can still call it fair.

Instead of inventing imbecile plans, why don't you nudge the DKI government to put the BUS in the BUSway. So that instead of waiting for up to 45 minutes, passengers could get into the bus every 5-6 minutes (the original plan). With only that, I believe that more people would take bus rather than driving their cars. It'll be stress and hassle-free, faster and much more convenient.

Allowing cars into the busway to overcome bad traffic is like having your right leg with gangrene and amputate your left one to treat it.